Hola, my dear Xanga.

Eh, I don't know why I keep using 'hola' to greet people. I don't particularly like Spanish, but 'hola' is so short and, idk. It's perhaps the only Spanish word I like.

Anyhow, it's been 'a long time' since I started this lovely blog. Beginning of freshman year, I think. Must've been around that time because I remember asking Kassi, or 'kit-kat' as you can see I called her in my first few posts, to do my layout for me. It was a purple Kenshin/Kaoru layout, which I thought was very nice, and I even had some AIM icons from it that we shared. lol cute.

Blast from the distant past aside, I think that I'm going to have to leave you. It simply isn't working out between us, Xanga. While you have been there for me these past 4 years and have been a reliable blog, you've changed, and things just aren't what I'd like them to be. Yours ads are overwhelming and I have to change my site's appearance to keep them away, which I'd rather not do because I like having lots of stuff to customize on my site.

In any case, as I can see you won't change anytime soon, which I don't want to force, anyway, I think we should put our relationship behind us and move on.


Goodbye, Xanga.

Hello, Blogspot.

Late, but I think I figured out why I'm so eh about everything right now.
It's because there's nothing to be whatever the opposite of 'eh' is about.
School is bullcrap, the quarter was bullcrap, all the time I spent in HS was bullcrap.
That's probably thinking a little too negatively and pessimistically, but in terms of advancing my success in life or whatever, I don't feel I've accomplished anything.
And now, I just feel there's nothing worth accomplishing. No one's gonna care. I don't particularly appreciate my parent's/family's compliment because they're always so exaggerated and make me feel so damn overrated. I don't think any of you guys would be really thrilled or anything about what happens to me. And just eh.

I don't have a best friend to always fall back on and count on.
I don't have a special someone to impress or vice versa.
I don't have an understanding family that I can connect with at any time.
I don't have anything to proudly point at and say, "yea, I did this."

Hm.
What I do have is a pessimistic perspective on life.

You know you play Brawl too much when your left thumb has a small bruise.
I fear that may also be a sign of being a loser, but I'll leave that up for interpretation.

Mm, so crappy break is pretty crappy so far. It's just school-less, really. But then again, it only has been 3 days out of 9, so I'll hold any judgement about the whole break until the whole thing has passed.

So I just made a realization about my parents.
Unless there is some sort of authority whose responsibility I am
or some adult that they trust (read: close friend, which there are few)
I can never be 'by myself', for they think that the world is evil and horrible and dangerous and some kid got shot at Mojave/Palo Verde/wherever and 2 people got killed on the freeway yesterday and some guy got beat up at the mall by gangsters for no reason and that ALL of that shit could very probably happen to me.

College.
You can't come fast enough.